The Scariest Things As A Child.

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 Childhood terrors. Everyone had them. whether it be a character you couldn't stand, or the logo of a television production company, they could be pretty weird. This post will cover some of my personal childhood terrors.

First is Yahoo. Once the king of search engines, and the most popular web portal until the legend came along, Yahoo used to use a yodel as its jingle. I remember my Mom used to use Yahoo! Messenger as a kid, and whenever my mom clicked on a specific element in the messenger, 

"YaHoOoOoOoOoOoO!!!!!!!!"

would blare out her computer speakers. I tended to avoid Yahoo! when I was a kid, but I couldn't because they had a partnership with a show called The Insider (a spin-off of Entertainment Tonight) back in the day, and they would play that sound during the show's transitions between stories.

 I even remember seeing Cars 2 in the theater, and, surprise surprise, during the pre-show, there was an ad for the Yahoo! app, so young Trevor heard 

"YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!"

blaring out on the loudspeakers while the logo showed up on the big screen, and this was back in the last leg of the 35-millimeter days. It seems like they were doing everything they could to keep themselves relevant, at the cost of annoying younger kids!

Another advertising jingle I couldn't stand was Expedia's "DAWWWWT CAAAAAAWWWWWMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!" chant. Everytime I seen their yellow luggage case in their TV ads, I knew what was coming, and it always seemed like the singers were angry at ME personally. Worst thing about that, The writer of "I'm a Believer" did that jingle. WHO KNEW such a terrible thing could come from the artist of such an iconic song?! They used that chant, albeit remastered (I would usually say that it was a wasted opportunity, but not in this case), one final time after their logo change in the 2010s. I wish I were out of the country then, since they never did "DAAAAAAWWWWWT SEEEEE AYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!" in Canada or "DAAAAAWWWWWWT JAAAAYYYY PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" in Japan, or even "DAAAAAWWWWWT COOOOOOOOOO DAAAAAAAAAWWWWWT YOUUUUUUU KAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" in the UK.

And the thing that terrified me the most, was the Emergency Alert System. I remember when we had pre-X1 Comcast cable, they would show a red, digitized EAS ticker once, without sound, so people were prepared, like a warning shot. Then 5 minutes later, the ticker re-appears, complete with the dreaded "ERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! ERRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! (dual-tone signal lasting 20 seconds, even though it feels like 10 minutes, followed by a message) ERRR! ERRR! ERRR!" sounds. I usually used the ticker's first appearance to run outside and wait 10 minutes, usually by walking around the backyard. It was even worse when it wasn't done by the cable system, but instead by the TV and/or Radio stations. 

I remember many times I watched SpongeBob getting ruined by those electronic screeches, and I remember even seeing a white text crawl pop up while I had the TV on with muted volume, and don't ask me how I remember this, but my TV was tuned to Disney Channel, and Little Einsteins was playing on the block then called Playhouse Disney. I remember seeing the usual "A BROADCAST STATION OR CABLE SYSTEM HAS ISSUED A REQUIRED MONTHLY TEST" spiel running by, while Leo was talking to the camera. It seemed like it was added on by the Cable system, but it was tacked on in a different way compared to the red, digitized ticker pasted on by the main cable box.

I watched tons of videos on YouTube to ease my fears of the EAS, and I've gotten used to it. Now, I find the way it works to be fascinating.

    I was inspired to post my childhood fears because of a video I watched where its uploader talks about his childhood fear, a British car insurance mascot (the Direct Line red telephone on wheels), and its associated company's jingle from the 2010s (which consists of 9 loud horn blares, followed by 6 touch-tone sounds), and the intro to a documentary about former British TV station Yorkshire Television (whose logo's bombastic fanfare freaked out younger kids.) The uploader of that video said that the UK's Channel 4's similarly bombastic fanfare, "Fourscore", scared him, because it seemed that the station was angry at him personally.